Lessons Therapy Has Taught Me

I remember literally loosing it one day. I couldn’t deal with the pain I was feeling in my heart, on my body and in my mind.  Every day I woke up all I wanted to do was lay in bed, dealing with lost was something I was never good at. I tried to snap out of it but no matter how I hard I tried those feelings wouldn’t go away. Finding a therapist can be such a scary thing, I found myself literally shaking while scrolling through Google trying to find anyone who could help me.  I always thought therapy would be a process of someone telling me what she thinks I should do, listening to my life problems and simply giving advice. My first session was the complete opposite of that. One of the most bittersweet moments for the first time in my life I felt my emotions, and expressed them with no regret. That was liberating for me! Here are some of the lessons I’ve learned on my healing journey:

1.) There is nothing wrong with you!

In today’s society as a generation I feel like we have adopted the thinking that we aren’t allowed to feel. I always felt that there was something wrong with me for being super sensitive, overly emotional, and passionate. On my healing journey I realized I was being over critical of myself way too often.  I always thought there was a certain way I was supposed to act, a certain way I had to respond to things, I could only be upset for a certain amount of days. Can you believe that even in feeling pain, I was being overcritical of how long my pain should last? My therapist really helped me get rid of these thoughts she constantly reminded me “ Your journey is yours, you owe nothing to anyone but yourself.” That statement really stuck with me and helped me shift my thinking. It’s ok to be angry, its ok to cry, it’s ok to feel hopeless sometimes there is no guideline with emotions. 

2.) You Can’t Move Forward, Without Letting Go.

During my healing journey different traumas that I’ve experienced  would come up and I quickly learned I have not yet let go of these things that were really holding me back. I can’t express how important it is to face your pain because on the other side of it is where freedom exists. When is the first time you felt this way? Why does this make me so upset?  Why do I freeze every time something like this happens to me? Are just a few questions that I had to answer to find my truth.  I could not move on from the disappointments that I felt from myself and the people I loved in my life. The biggest lesson I learned when you struggle to get over disappointment it’s because you were over invested in the potential vision, and ultimately the hopes, plans, and outcomes that you set your mind and heart on.

3.)  You Matter.

Who you are matters.

What you do matters.

We are all beautiful individuals who matter.

Our meaning, and our mattering comes from our stories.

-Abena Charity